heartstrings

A day later and I think I can write about it. 
Yesterday my 13 year-old baby flew by himself to Colorado.  This was his birthday present from his grandparents, spending a week with them all by himself.  I knew what I was getting into when I bought the tickets.  I knew it would be difficult.  I just had to survive it.  Why is letting go so HARD?
His flight was scheduled for 9:00am ~ so at 5:15, I got up and went to wake up JB.  He was sitting in his room playing with his Rubik cube.  He said he couldn't sleep and had been up since 4.  I think he was just as anxious as I was.  We got all ready and went to Hopkins.  Not a problem getting a gate pass and JB bought a $4 deck of cards so we could pass the time.  I looked out onto the tarmac into the face of that plane with  its great big nose and two little windows told it to take my baby safely to Colorado.  Somehow that little stare down made me feel a little better!  Finally they called his row ~ he gave me a hug and walked through the door.  I just stood there.  If anyone had spoken to me I may have just lost it.  Deep breathing ~ I couldn't believe the physical reaction I had to watching him walk away from me.  I don't know if it had more to do with my fear of flying or his actually leaving, alone.
I drove home and followed the flight on Continental.com.  There was the little icon of the plane over Illinois then Iowa then Nebraska and finally it stopped over Denver.  I called Jacob, who didn't answer.  I called Mom, who didn't answer...finally the phone rang and it was Jacob.  He said he had gotten off the plane and started walking toward baggage and saw GG coming toward him.  It was so good to hear his voice and the pride he felt in a successful mission. 
I hung up, walked outside to tell Mike I talked to him and then I cried, just a little.